Rebecca and I want to offer you our reflections on the September 11 attacks. At this time of international upheaval, we send this message to you with prayers for your own wellbeing and for the wellbeing of those around you. If you are among the countless many who have lost someone in the New York or Washington attacks, or the plane that went down in Pennsylvania, Rebecca’s and my hearts are with you and those who perished.

The first part of this message is Rebecca’s and my first hand account of being in the New York area on and following September 11 (we just returned home to San Diego this past weekend). In the second part, I offer you Rebecca’s and my recommendations for how you and yours might heal from and respond to these events.

Our New York Story

Rebecca and I happened to be in the New York City area on September 11, assisting my ageing mother in the huge task of clearing a lifetime’s worth of accumulations out of her house in preparation for her selling it. While we did not see the attack in person, we were in a large room full of people paralyzed in front of a TV as the horror in our back yard unfolded live before our eyes. Somehow needing to make the event more real, we then drove to get a direct view the devastating plume of unspeakable death and destruction that filled the Manhattan skies. We, like virtually all those around us who call the New York area home, were utterly gripped by the shock, horror and grief that accompanies the destruction of lives inextricably tied to yours and a location you have had a personal relationship with for 28 years (that was the age of the World Trade Center when it was destroyed).

Everyone not directly involved in relief efforts – and many more wanted to be involved than could possibly be accommodated, such is the generosity of New Yorkers in time of need – instantly became glued nonstop to TV sets wherever they went. For obvious reasons related to the need to provide residents with evacuation, aid and closure information, New York’s local TV coverage was far more detailed, personal and re-traumatizingly unrelenting than anywhere else in the world. This super-saturation seemed to contribute both to the traumatization New Yorkers felt and to the desire to help that they embodied. I saw New Yorkers reach out to one another with a level of unity and open-heartedness I never experienced in all my years growing up there from the mid fifties to the early seventies.

Rebecca and I initially traveled back and forth between shock, overwhelm and numbness and exhaustion. The stress was unbelievably intense: the disruption in area’s collective energy field was painfully and profoundly palpable to both of us and, the local media coverage was understandably many orders of magnitude more relentless and detailed than national and international coverage. Fortunately, both of us were blessed to be able to bounce back incredibly quickly and powerfully, thanks in large part to the Energy Psychology methods in which we’re trained. We treated ourselves first (and since then ongoingly), and we did what we could for those around us, on an individual basis and also by attempting our best to offer healing to the collective energy field of the region. More about this perhaps odd notion below.

On the one week anniversary of the attack, we made a pilgrimage to Ground Zero/Ground Hero, as well as to some of the unbelievably touching makeshift memorials throughout Manhattan. As out-of-towners, we felt a need to do this not only for ourselves but in order to be able to provide a first hand flavor to those who, like us, don’t live in the New York area.

There was a wide protective perimeter well beyond the World Trade Center area that was guarded by armed police and National Guard troops like the war zone that it was. These men and women were in just as much shock as everyone else, but they were also kind and properly firm, allowing only clearly authorized people and vehicles beyond the roadblocks. Because I grew up in New York, and no self-respecting New Yorker accepts “no” at face value, I trusted that if Rebecca and I walked around the perimeter we would likely find a permissible way toward the very edge of the World Trade Center. We did indeed, and were ultimately able to reach an area a handful of blocks from the area of the World Trade Center devastation that served as the backdrop for the ground level live reports you undoubtedly saw on TV.

For reasons we can’t explain but were exceedingly grateful for, we were allowed to stay there, in clear sight of the devastation, for as long as we wished. We somehow were allowed to remain there unbothered for a good couple of hours, despite the troops constantly shooing everyone else without a press pass out of the area. The recovery and cleanup operation was by then working like a well-oiled machine. None of the troops, police, FBI agents, Treasury agents, Secret Service agents, fire personnel, Red Cross workers, other authorized personnel, or the press, seemed to have any need for help from us – they all had jobs to do and were tirelessly doing them despite the truly profound fatigue on many of their faces.

This was a good thing because it allowed us to use our time at Ground Zero to alternate between two other objectives. The first was to treat ourselves “in vivo” with Energy Psychology methods – at the location of horror that was the source of our relentless barrage of images on the television. The second was to then allow ourselves to be filled with love of a magnitude that we hoped might be capable of elevating the frequency of the site and all those present, be they the dead, the buried-but-not-yet-dead, the rescue workers, the area residents and survivors, the press, or the leaders who were visiting the site. It was an unspeakably moving, intensely personal and remarkably transcendent couple of hours.

Then, when Rebecca and I both felt finished with what we went to the site to accomplish, we set out in search of a memorial we would feel moved to leave the candles and messages we brought. After miles of additional walking, the one we selected was at the beautiful arch in Washington Square Park, at the heart of Greenwich Village. This famous arch was surrounded on all sides by fencing on which were countless messages accompanying photographs of the missing and dead. On the ground in front of the fencing was an unending sea of flowers and candles aglow. Beyond these, and extending into the park, were many messages of love and comfort written in chalk on the sidewalks. Street musicians played soothing music in the background and the park was pulsing with life as those there clearly felt the need to not isolate themselves at a time like this.

We took our time to walk around the entire perimeter, reading all the messages and taking in the unfathomable amount of love being expressed during such a dramatic time of grief, loss and horror. About 97% of the messages were compassionate and unifying rather than hateful and vengeful. It all took Rebecca’s and my breaths away and reduced us to yet another round of tears, though this time the tears were from gratitude for the ability of humanity to rise above attack and remember love. And, then our hearts broke yet again when we came upon a very simple little message accompanying an equally simple sketch, slipped among the countless flyers containing photos and information about one of the approximately 6600 people who are dead or still missing. The sketch in pencil was simply two side-by-side vertical zigzags going up the page. The accompanying message read: “Missing: Two lovely twins, age 28.” We then found a fitting spot to light our two memorial candles, wrote our own accompanying messages, and said some prayers before leaving the area.

Our Recommendations

This brings me to the second part of this message. In the aftermath of September 11, people around New York, the USA and the entire world feel an almost instinctively strong urge to “do something” to be helpful, to discharge their grief, express their support, and feel empowered in the face of fear. In that spirit, we wanted to offer you our thoughts as to actions you might take on your own behalf and on behalf of those you love, to make a difference at this time.

Healing Resources: First and foremost, we urge you to set aside the time *you* need to heal your own distressed reactions to these events. If you don’t have self-help tools to do this fully, seek out the help of a therapist in your area who has formal training and expertise in Energy Psychology methods or EMDR. If you need a referral, check the practitioner and organization listings on the web site this article appears on(www.emotionalrelief.org). You can also find names of EMDR therapists at www.emdria.org or visit the Humanitarian Assistance section of the main EMDR web site: www.emdr.com. And you will find the names of Energy Psychology practitioners in the soon-to-be-posted Association for Comprehensive Psychology (ACEP) member database at www.energypsych.org. If you want to know more about ACEP’s Humanitarian efforts, contact Dr. Martin Luthke at expansion@u-r-light.com. (Rebecca and I have been using Energy Psychology methods and they have not failed us! It’s important that we all keep in mind how important it is to take the time to heal our own trauma, not just be there for others.)

Healing Themes to Attend To: In addition to treating any trauma you might feel in response to the September 11 attacks or any personal losses you may have experiences, we want to alert you to six important but less discussed areas to work on. These aren't the only areas that you might need to address, but perhaps they can provide you with some starting points.

1. Anticipatory Anxiety: Some people feel afraid to go on with their normal lives because of the possibility of future terrorist actions. Others are anxious because the September 11 attacks are just the beginning of a series of events that have yet to unfold, as the US-led coalition implements its response strategies over the coming months and perhaps years. There is a difference between being alert because of not being in denial and being impaired because of anxiety levels being too high. If you’re dealing with this, realize that it’s a common reaction to trauma and get help using the methods mentioned above. There’s no reason to be in bondage, given the incredibly powerful methods now available to help with these issues.

2. Boundaries: Many people felt their own personal boundaries were breached as a result of the attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. For some, it has felt like their own personal boundaries were violated. For others, they have felt personally affected by their country’s boundaries having been violated. If you’ve experienced any type of boundary violations in response to these events, please treat these too.

3. Grudges: Rebecca and I have also been finding that it’s important to prevent grudging from developing, because grudges lead to a desire to revenge and the risk of taking revenge into one’s own hands. This is extremely dangerous – it is very destructive to respond to terrorist attacks by becoming a terrorist! One way I have been using to prevent grudging has been to carefully and clearly articulate a position statement on my values related to the events that have occurred and are in the process of continuing to unfold. I encourage you to find and articulate your own sociopolitical values, and speak up in forums that fit right for you as an individual. Undertake this articulation for yourself first, as I can assure you it is an unbelievably re-centering and empowering exercise. Second, do this for your local community and the world community, because the more clear and sane our own intentions are, the more cleanly and effectively they can positively influence the collective conscious and unconscious. (If you want to see a copy of the document I’ve written in this spirit (a "Declaration of Global Responsibility", you can download it from our Willingness Works web site www.willingness.com.)

4. Limiting Beliefs: Please keep in mind that there isn’t just the trauma itself to treat, but any accompanying limiting beliefs you may carry that have been activated by the events presently unfolding, not to mention any ways in which each of us has within ourselves terrorist thoughts in response to feeling violated by the events of September 11. (I’ve been facing and upgrading a number that I still carry.) Writing your own value statement in the ways I’ve mentioned above is likely to draw out your limiting beliefs and attack thoughts. That’s part of the gift of taking the time to write. When you uncover such beliefs, examine them and identify a more life-giving belief to take the place of each. If you have difficulty identifying or replacing your limiting beliefs, again Energy Psychology or EMDR treatments can be helpful in this regard.

5. Pre-Existing Baggage: We each also have ways of being petty terrorists to ourselves and those around us. Rebecca and I therefore also encourage you to join us in using this dreadful occasion as a stimulus to search for and ferret out all old baggage and beliefs we each still carry that stand between us and love, and between ourselves and being able to truly midwife the healing of others.

6. The Need for Ritual: In addition, we strongly recommend that you participate in rituals in your community that fit right for you (our trip to WTC and memorials was incredibly healing for both Rebecca and me). Remember that isolation is terrorism’s friend.

If you’re a therapist or other type of health professional a personal coach, or a business executive or consultant, please be sure to check with the people you’re working with to make sure they’re not suffering from these types of reactions.

Helping Children: Parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and teachers, be sure to do the same with your children. Rebecca and I believe all of us have three general types of obligations to children at this time, in addition obviously to keeping them safe:

1. Trauma Relief:Encourage your kids to talk about their reactions and vent their feelings. No one, including children, can become rational until after they’ve cleared their trauma and their “negative” emotions. Remember that often children are not articulate about their reactions, so talking may need to be replaced or supplemented with non-verbal opportunities (such as drawing or play-acting) and/or allegory (such as asking them to tell you a story about what happened or about how children feel today). If you think you’re in over your head, get professional help for the child’s sake! Energy Psychology and EMDR methods can be very helpful with children.

2. Teachable Moments:Encourage children to evolve increasingly mature values in response to these events. They are forming beliefs and values whether or not you talk with them. It’s better that you help them with this than leave it to them to do this on their own – help children learn that gifts of personal development can even come from horrible events! Think about the healthy, love-affirming, life-affirming values you want them to learn from these events. Discuss issues about God, the unity of humanity, the importance of helping others, questions of safety and security, and the like. If they’re old enough, ask them about what they wonder about most, in terms of their beliefs and values.

3. Empowerment: Children who feel helpless to respond to awful events are as much at risk for psychological and social distress as adults. Help your child identify actions that fit right for him/her as responses to what has occurred. This can range from teaching the child how to pray or meditate for world peace or for the healing of those harmed by these attacks, having them draw and send a picture of comfort, a card, or a letter, to a memorial site, taking the child to a memorial event, or whatever is developmentally appropriate for the child.

Prayer and Meditation: Rebecca and I encourage you to spend time daily allowing yourself to fill to overflowing with love, using whatever methods and spiritual/religious paths fit right for you. These might involve meditation, prayer, Energy Psychology methods, or the like. As I mentioned earlier in this letter, when Rebecca and I were visiting Ground Zero, I had the most amazing experience of feeling useful to those in the area with whom I was not interacting directly – and even to the land itself – simply by raising my own vibrational frequency up as high as possible. At the risk of perhaps sounding like a flaky Southern Californian to some of you, I think it’s important to convey how important it is that we as an energy oriented community not overlook an absolutely huge potential to anonymously make huge differences in the ambient frequency of our communities simply by raising our own personal frequencies (If you want further thoughts about how you might do more in terms of offering healing merely through embodying peace, consider reading “The Reconnection” by Eric Pearl. While Rebecca and I don’t agree with some of what he writes, we nevertheless want to bring this book to your attention, particularly in this context.)

Delayed Emergence of Trauma Symptoms: Over the next six months or so, continue to monitor symptoms of trauma in yourself and those you care for. There are two important reasons for this. First, trauma symptoms are often delayed in developing or in becoming debilitating – so remember to check in six months from now as closely as you hopefully are doing today. Second, the September 11 attacks are only the beginning of the next chapter in world events, so identifying and clearing trauma and anticipatory fears is likely to be an ongoing task for awhile. Energy Psychology methods and EMDR can be helpful in inoculating against future trauma as well.

Assist Others: Whether you support relief efforts, provide trauma relief, give blood, or donating money to the families of those who perished in the attacks, find some form of being of service that fits right for you. People need to not feel powerless to help when these kinds of events occur. One web site that has links to most organizations accepting donations is http://www.libertyunites.org

Don’t Isolate: Isolation leads to depression, fear and all kinds of other ugly effects of separation. Stay in touch with your relatives, friends, co-workers and spiritual/religious community. Assisting others can also be a way to make sure you don’t isolate.

Refrain >From “CNN Overdose:” While Rebecca and I believe it’s important to stay current on the events that are unfolding (an additional way of preventing isolation), it’s also possible to be so inundated with upsetting or agitating information that your own nervous system shifts into a chronic stress state. This isn’t good for you, the people around you, or the world at large. If you tend to be an intensity junkie or a current affairs junkie during times of crisis, make sure you build in frequent breaks for self-reflection as well as for recharging and playtime. If you don’t, you’ll eventually be no good to anyone during a time when this is a time to be even more centered and effective than usual.

If You’re a Mental Health Expert: Mental health experts, particularly systems, forensics and/or conciliation experts, Rebecca and I urge you to be a voice that educates your community and the media about the dynamics of control and violence, and about the parallels between how family systems function and how the world community needs to function. In the name of sanity, the world needs widespread exposure to this information now more than ever before.

By the way, since this letter is not an advertisement for Willingness Works products, I’ve deliberately not mentioned specific books or tapes of ours that could potentially be useful to your healing at this time. Should you believe that some of our resources might be helpful in addressing the items written about in this letter, I leave it to you to read the product descriptions on our web site. Thank you for understanding.

Also, should you believe this letter might be helpful to someone you know, please feel free to forward it to her/him or print it out.

In closing, Rebecca and I urge you to take whatever internal and external actions that fit right for you in being part of the solution – today and in the months to come as events continue to unfold. Remember that healing begins with ourselves and then extends outward from there – to quote one of our favorite UNICEF cards from decades ago, “The greater peace will come only after the smaller peace we make with ourselves.” Rebecca and I thank you for taking the time to read this e-mail in the midst of all the others undoubtedly arriving in your e-mail box at this time. Rebecca joins me in sending you and yours love, light and healing prayers at this time and in the coming months.

With love and prayers from Rebecca and me,
David

David Grudermeyer, Ph.D., President of the Association for Comprhensive Energy Psychology, Co-Director of Willingness Works

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David Grudermeyer, Ph.D., is a psychologist and marriage & family therapist. He is Co-Director of Willingness Works in Del Mar, California, and is founding President of the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology. Co-author of Sensible Self-Help, which was named Collier’s 1997 Mental Health Book of the Year, and 65 audiotape titles, Dr. Grudermeyer is a psychotherapist, speaker and business consultant in conflict resolution. He is currently on sabbatical, except for providing media interviews his The Declaration of Global Responsibility regarding terrorism and fanaticism, which can be downloaded from www.willingness.com beginning in mid-October, 2001.
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For more information about Richard Ross, visit
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